Why do you want to practice Mindfulness?
The beginning of any practice comes with its own unique set of challenges. One of the greatest challenges to any practice is the great and terrible question, Why?
The practice of mindfulness is no different than any habit or change we want to enact in our field of experience. There are a number of reasons why someone would want to practice mindfulness; from peace and serenity to self-awareness, the intent varies from person to person.
Whether you are a seasoned mindfulness practitioner or a complete beginner it is valuable to contemplate the reasons why you have committed to practice. If your practice seems to be losing its allure or you are struggling to keep yourself committed, it might be time to take a deep subconscious dive.
To begin this exercise you’ll need a pen, notepad or paper, a cushion or chair.
Start with sitting down
Find your seat and settle into present awareness. I often enjoy a period of light stretching, wiggling, and then simply sitting eyes open. Take in every sensation you can.
Be Present with Sensation
The sounds, smells, colors, the feel of the cushion or the chair are your allies in this quest of opening your subconscious. Many struggle mightily to shut out the noise, to focus and silence the thoughts, instead allowing themselves to simply be with the sensations of the body.
Scan the Body
Once you have sat with pure present awareness for a few minutes begin scanning the body for additional, deeper sensations. Within each tightened muscle, cramp, discomfort, or itch there is a portal to your emotional body. Our body memorizes our traumas no matter how small, it provides us windows to be present with the emotions we did not allow full expression in the moment.
Focus on each part of the body from the toes to your hair and breathe. Breathe into each part slowly, deliberately with the intent to release the tension. Alan Watts once commented on our need to hold our bodies together, lest we fall into the floorboards like a puddle. Release this fear and breathe.
Once you have reached a state of relaxation float the eyes closed.
Watch the Breath
In and out, breathe. Focus on the breath, only the breath. Allow the thoughts, emotions, and sensations to flow. Watch them as you do the clouds and allow them to pass, remembering you cannot clasp thoughts or emotions any more than you can clasp the clouds in your hands.
Breathe In. Breathe Out.
After a few minutes of simple mindful breathing, allow yourself to ask the question.
Why do you want to practice mindfulness?
Let the question drop down into your subconscious, try not to “think” about the question, and allow it to be. Feel the question deep within the body, within the subconscious. You may want to ask the question a few times or turn it into a mantra.
Whenever you feel you have dropped deeply enough into a semi-trance-like state allow yourself to pick the pen and notepad up and place your pen to the paper. Allow the stream of consciousness to flow, and allow yourself to release the answer. As you write do not attempt to edit or read what you are writing. Simply write.
A few paragraphs should be sufficient but you might want to allow yourself the space to write more.
Give it time to percolate
Once you feel you have released enough onto the page place the notepad and pen down and return to watching the breath for a few minutes. Allow yourself the space to bask in the present.
Once you have finished your meditation set aside the notepad for a day or so. When you come back to the notepad allow yourself to read the writing with the mindset of non-judgment.
In your next seated session allow yourself to contemplate the attachments to the outcomes you want to come about as a product of your mindfulness practice.
